The Title
The original title for this book was HANGING BY A G-STRING, a title which will be familiar
to anyone who read the excerpt in the back of NERD IN SHINING ARMOR.
However, when I changed publishers
from Bantam/Dell to St. Martin's Press in 2003, we also changed titles, from HANGING BY A G-STRING to THE NERD WHO
LOVED ME.
So, for all of you who have patiently waited for "G-String", and were wondering what
happened, I'm now pleased to announce that you can read all about Harry, Dexter and Lainie in
THE NERD WHO LOVED ME!!
An Interview with Rona Ambrewster
When last we spoke, your son Harry had just gotten married to the love of his life, Lainie Terrell.
Where did the happy couple go for their honeymoon?
You're not going to believe this, but they went to Niagara Falls! I suggested Hawaii and Leo wanted them to go to
Sicily, where he actually does have some relatives. But Harry had done research on negative ions, which Niagara Falls
has in spades. Negative ions are a mood elevator, which is why couples go there. From what I hear, those two elevated
their mood to the point they never left the room. I'm not even sure they saw the falls, to be honest.
They also recently bought a house in Henderson, near Las Vegas. Are they enjoying being homeowners at last?
You should see the two of them. It's so cute, Lainie trying to sew curtains and Harry trying to fix the plumbing.
They're both hopeless at these kinds of things, so it always ends up in a mess. Fortunately most of the TITS can sew, so
we've come to Lainie's rescue, and Leo knows an excellent handyman who can clean up after Harry's disasters.
I understand that Lainie is still setting the stage on fire in Vegas. Any chance we'll see her name on a marquee soon?
Now there's where that girl's talents lie. Oh, she's a great mother and bakes good cookies, but other than that,
she's not domestic. That's one reason I love her. She was born to dance, like me. She'll be a headliner before you know
it, and the TITS will be in the front row, cheering like maniacs.
Of course, you also gained a grandson, Dexter. How is he doing?
Oh, I have a few pictures. Here's the first album. Careful, it's heavy. And here's the next one. That covers another
two months. And here's the third. I'll wait on the others until you've had a chance to look at these. He really should be in
commercials with that face, don't you think? But I wouldn't suggest it. He'd be bored with all those takes and retakes.
He's a genius, you know. Smartest kid I ever met, maybe even smarter than Harry was at that age. Someday Dexter will
invent something very, very important to save the world from something it needs saving from. Mark my words.
And how are his beloved doggie friends, Mitzi and Fred?
You can see them there, in that second set of pictures. Mitzi's the one with the pink bow, and Fred has the blue one.
We did that for a joke, because anyone who sees those dogs knows which ones the girl and which ones the boy, even
without tipping them over to look underneath. Mitzi dotes on Dexter, at least until Fred comes around. She is such a little
flirt. Good thing they're both fixed, or they'd be doing it like rabbits.
Speaking of that, do Harry and Lainie have any plans to expand the family in the future?
This is off the record, right? I mean, I'm really not supposed to know this, but I've been watching Lainie, and she
has that certain look in her eye. Besides that, she's stopped drinking wine completely, and that's not like her. I think
she's waiting until Mother's Day to spring it on me, which is so dramatic and sweet. I'll act surprised, but I already know,
and I'm dying to tell everyone that I'm about to become a grandmother again. Okay, I've already told all the TITS, but
they can keep a secret. And I told Leo. I'm assuming Harry knows. But it's really a secret, so you can't print it.
Have Lainie's parent been out to visit since the wedding?
Several times. You know, I've nearly decided to like those two. Get a few margaritas in them and they're almost
human. I suppose once the news hits about Lainie being pregnant they'll come around more often, so I'll stock up on
tequila. Some people just go better with booze, don't you think?
Now let's talk about the business venture in Sedona, Crimson Canyons. Leo and Harry took the plunge as co-owners, and
things seemed to be heading in a positive direction. Is business still good?
Business is amazing. It looks very much as if we're all going to be well off. I think the word is supposed to be
wealthy which is less crass than rich. It's funny, because we're all so happy anyway that we don't need much of it.
The current plan is to create a low-cost retirement home for Vegas showgirls with anything extra that accumulates. I
love that idea.
Any plans for changes or additions in the future?
As a matter of fact, there is! Dudley feels so bad about all the displaced rattlesnakes that we're building a special
area for them, walled off so they can't get out, but with some glass viewing windows to allow people to watch them in
safety. We'll call it Rattlesnake Ravine, and it'll have lots of space and everything a rattlesnake could ever want to be
happy. Leo wasn't crazy about the idea, but Dudley pointed out that both Leo and Harry could work on their phobia by
visiting the snakes. Leo says he doesn't want to work on his phobia, that he likes his phobia just fine, but Harry might go
for it. And Dexter's fascinated, of course.
How are things between you and Leo? Any plans to make Leo a permanent partner in your life?
You and Dexter! He's joined forces with Leo to try and convince me to tie the knot. See, Dexter already refers to
him as Grandpa Leo, and I'm Grandma Rona, so there you go. But I don't know. I worry that the spark will go out of
our relationship if Leo gets too sure of me. I must say, though, that the spark shows no signs of going out of Lainie and
Harry's relationship. They're still nuts about each other. We'll see. I'm making no promises, but Dexter's in preschool
now and they have Grandparent's Day coming up in a couple of months. I suppose I would feel funny going with Leo if I
didn't have a ring on my finger. But that's off the record, too. Don't tell anybody, especially not Dexter and Leo.
I understand the TITS are working as the sales force for Crimson Canyons. How is that working out?
The TITS are one of the main reasons we're making so much money. I mean, how could you turn down a sales
pitch from someone who presents it in song and dance form? People love it. They make reservations months in advance
to take a tour, just so they can watch the TITS perform. It's fabulous.
Your TITS friend Suz was working on a marriage proposal from Dudley, the head salesman and caretaker at Crimson Canyons.
Has any progress been made in that direction?
Well, yes, and that's why Dexter and Leo are putting pressure on me. Dudley and Suz have set a date, and it's been
strongly suggested that we make it a double wedding. I'm not sure about that, either. I love Suz like a sister, but how in
hell could we ever settle on colors that we both like and both look good in? I think it could be a nightmare. And no, I'm
not wearing white. I mean, really.
It's been a year of big changes in your life. Anything else you'd like to share?
Only that I never expected to be this blessed in my life. As you might remember, I'd almost given up hope that Harry
would find a girl with some spunk. He seemed determined to date boring girls, and I would have hated dealing with one of
them, not that he ever got around to asking them to marry him. Lainie seemed sent by Fate, and Dexter was the icing on
the cake. Now I'll have another grandchild in about nine months, not that you heard that from me, and I couldn't be
happier. Are you finished with those three photo albums? Good, because I have six more. Wait right there, and I'll run
and get them.
